Can you hear my now? Good. Can you hand over your private information now? Good. Wait what?

As it turns out, Verizon and other major phone companies have been tapping in to (not just the late great biggie smalls' cell phone and home phone in his basement), but the entire population of America. A lawsuit has been filed by Verizon subscribers against Verizon for a hefty sum of 50 billions dollars. I of course do not expect to see any of that money but will settle for a sweet new razor phone, and that Venessa Williams chick from the commercials, and 500 thousand dollars, and a turkey sandwich, exta mustard please.

Bush of course denies the whole thing...

"I've also been clear about the fact that we do not listen to domestic phone calls without court approval and this government will continue to guard the privacy of the American people," he said. "But if al Qaeda is calling into the United States, we want to know, and we want to know why."

Finally. Now the taliban telemarketers can stop calling my house. Bin Laden is really pushy with the whole cable subscription thing, I personally just think he's really lonely. That or he just wants in on the sweet turkey sandwich action.

Sellouts [CNN]