2003-2007

R.I.P. [ESPN]

I'm time person of the year! Nuh-uh, they were referring to me! No, me...

YOU! YOU! YOU!

YOU ARE TIME PERSON OF THE YEAR! CONGRATS!

Soft [TIME]

Osama bin who?

Rep. Silvestre Reyes has been tapped to head the Intelligence Committee when the democrats take over in January. When asked whether al Qaeda is one or the other of the two major branches of Islam, Sunni or Shiite, Reyes answered..

"they are probably both," then ventured "Predominantly -- probably Shiite."

In fact, Al Qaeda was founded by Osama bin Laden as a Sunni organization that views Shiitesas rather negatively. Eviler than hitler, more annoying than jar jar binks. So much for the intelligence part.

Meeza have no idea what i'm talking about [CNN]

Your wife is nice. I like.

In an attempt to lose an election, but gain the affection of a stone cold sandwich manhandler, Hillary Clinton's Republican challenger John Spencer had this to say regarding his opponent

Hillary Clinton looks much different now, he chalked it up to "millions of dollars" of "work"
"She looks good now," he said.
"You ever see a picture of her back then? Whew"

Chew on this [DAILYNEWS]

Barack attack

Barack Obama has recently hinted that he is contemplating a run for the Presidency in 2008. A position that adulterer lover Hillary Clinton and perenial loser John Kerry have already hinted at running for. Which decapitated head will win is up to you. And if you think this story isn't big news. Obama is black. Yes. Black.

Triple threat match [ABCNEWS]

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of underage males

Former republican representitive Mark Foley, notorious for flirting with underage male helpers, apparently singled out just the 'hot" pages to engage in disgusting conversation with. Said one page

Foley hinted about a job opportunity "because I was a hot boy"

You there with the acne, you'll never make it here in Washington [ABCNEWS]

I win, I win, I wi....

If this isn't newsworthy, then nothing is

Bin Laden supports republicans

REPUBLICAN ELECTION 2006 CAMPAIGN AD

Work hard, rape harder

Russian President Vladamir Putin had this to say regarding allegations that Israeli President Moshe Katsav had raped as many as ten different women.

"What a mighty man he turns out to be! He raped 10 women - I would never have expected this from him. He surprised us all - we all envy him!"

Did I say envy? I meant profusely condemm horrific actions [BBCNEWS]

Shalom means no [REUTERS]

Fine Piece Of Representation

Florida Rep. Mark Foley's resignation came just hours after ABC News questioned the congressman about a series of sexually explicit instant messages involving congressional [male] pages, high school students who are under 18 years of age.

Maf54: Do I make you a little horny?
Teen: A little.
Maf54: Cool.
Maf54: What ya wearing?
Teen: tshirt and shorts
Maf54: Love to slip them off of you

No jokes. Just keep reading.

Digital digital getdown [ABCNEWS]

Early Bird Special

According to a local report in the apparently disgunsting state of Florida, sexually transmitted diseases among senior citizens are running rampant at one popular retirement community. The report featured one woman at the shocking age of 80.

"All I can repeat are the things I have heard which are things like, 'Should I bring the little blue pills over tonight?'"

Ew. Doctors blame Viagra, a lack of sex education, no risk for pregnancy, and the guy ten pictures below for the increase in sexually transmitted diseases in the community. Ew.

The shocking truth [LOCAL6.COM]